Desire

1. "Desire, an inside yearning for all that is possible" – Maria Sheridan !

Desire to me is an unyielding craving, which just won’t go away unless you do something about it. It's not a Bad thing at least not from my perspective. Desire can be so strong you almost experience what you desire... you can almost taste, feel and touch what you desire it feels almost tangible, it’s a feeling beyond want; it’s there within your grasp you just have to reach out and take it.  The Dictionary states “The fact or condition of desiring; that emotion which is directed to the attainment or possession of some object from which pleasure or satisfaction is expected; longing, craving; a wish; a petition;” - Oxford English Dictionary. You need a desire to have an attitude of Gratitude; you need to desire it so much that you are creating a thought process that will not only enable you desire it but to have it. It is then you take action and put it into practice. The more you practice the more perfected at it you become. And then there's the reality! 

My Desire was to have my own independence back to have somewhere I could call home. From where I stood I was beginning to wonder would that ever be again, I was so low, however determined to succeed.

11th January 2012 I went back to Focus Ireland. I had been there Christmas Eve 2011 to pick up a hamper and register with them for help. The very nice girl helped me fill out some forms. I remember looking around that frosty Christmas eve morning at the people in the Focus cafe and feeling sorry for them, then I realised I was one of them. Technically I was homeless. I'd been staying at a friend’s home but I was actually homeless. I cried all the way back to my friend’s house. Now it was 11th January I have pocket change and no home. The very professional and very nice girl in Focus advised me to go and register with the Homeless agency at South Dublin Co Council. My Dad accompanied me, to be honest he was my angel that day, he was my strength. It was by far the deepest hole I'd ever been in! or at least it felt that way that day. 

What is Homelessness?

The Housing Act 1988 defines a homeless person as somebody who has no reasonable accommodation to live in or lives in a hospital, institution or night shelter because of a lack of home. Different types of homelessness include visible homelessness - on the streets, sleeping rough, in shelters; hidden homelessness - in temporary, insecure, low quality or overcrowded housing with relatives or friends; living in bed and breakfast accommodation, and squatting.

I had been couch hopping for long enough, in what seemed me going backwards I was in fact going forwards, like I said before and you'll hear me say this again and again.  I was homeless in Transition not in a State of being. This is a new and not so new homelessness that is going to be seen more and more because of the economy and other circumstances. Its hidden, the numbers are frightening and its potential to grow is horrific. 

I was homeless not hopeless, worn out not worn down, I was lost in transition not lost altogether, my positive steps got larger with each success and everyday I woke up to a new day was a new success.