Wednesday, 1 October 2014

Believe

11. Believe: “Act with a purpose, have confidence in the truths that surround you, and then in the absence of proof that they exist, just BELIEVE” – Maria Sheridan


“Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you”! 
-Dr Seuss

We have the ability and capability to believe in ourselves.

ELAINE S. DALTON said “Believe in yourselves; believe that you are never alone”. Believe that you will always be guided”.

We do not need the approval of others, we do not need because we just are! What I mean is we are noble and royal in our own right “believe it”. We are infinite and eternal capable of doing anything we put our minds to and our back into it! Self-belief and hard work towards our goals and dreams are within our grasp, within our making, within our doing! As the great Nike ad say’s “Just Do It” I would add because you CAN!

Excerpts from My Journal

11th January 2012 

I felt like I was on death row. I felt like a failure, I felt humiliated, withdrawn, withheld, as far away from life but very aware I had no home and felt emptiness, abandonment and a hole so deep only for the company of my daddy and his direction I was like a robot making my way to a homeless unit to register as Homeless.

January a year ahead I got up out of my bed in my Apartment and received a call to go into work in an emergency. Work, Home, Bed. Three things a person shouldn't ever take for granted. I'm no alcoholic, not a battered wife, not a mental Health patient nor a criminal just out of Jail nor am I drug dependent, I had experienced maybe not a new kind of Homeless state however a homeless type that Ireland doesn't have a word to describe. I was what I now term as middle class homeless, homeless in a state of transition not a state of being! Today is a a very Bright day. I love you Dad for Being in my life without you and Mum that day I doubt I be here today XxMxX ;-)  eternally grateful!

12 January 2013

There's times you just know that someone's looking out for you above, today is one of those days. I'm falling in and out of memories of last year this time last year. I'd spent my first night in a dirty, filthy, mankey Hostel, it was Dark, smelly from puke, pee, alcohol, drugs etc., it was dark, dreary, full of random screams, shouts and a language I was unfamiliar with. I'm not a fearful person, however, I felt fear and I felt lonely and alone. Today I may still have to face fear in the eye once in a while, however I know I'm not alone and I know I am loved. I'm grateful for experience, I wouldn't wish to go back but I have no regrets. XxMxX ;-) 

19 January 2013

Today whilst I'm grateful to be, and grateful for so many things I'm still feeling the intensity of this day last year and the dark walk I had to take this morning last year. I was (for the want of a less intense explanation) Suicidal! It was a brief and passing intense thought as I passed over The River Liffey without Jumping in, but the thought was present, then I very quickly thought of why, why was this happening, why me, is there a purpose this fell upon my door and what can I do with this. I was mad, enraged that I was being treated this way, and thought if I had to go back to that Grubby Hell hole they call a shelter, I'd be joining the drinkers and then I wouldn't have to care. What helped get me through? Phone calls from a friends, My Family ( mum, dad, Sister and Family, Jean, Aoife, and Rebekah) Aoife and Jean each going through their own pains and suffering still reaching out still finding time to call. I will be forever grateful to ALL-that did! There are others but funny never who you expect but always who you need at the time! The people above were my constants, these people where in my face constantly encouraging me till I found my feet again! My parents literally putting the phone in my hand to the girl looking after my case, I told her I'd rather be on the streets than go back to the Hostel and she understood and told me to leave it with her. This day night last year I walked into the arms of Angels. When I did I felt hope again! XxMxX  :-) I am so grateful to be alive and to Share this Story! Much love!







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